Koopa Hotels
by superstarultra
Summary: Well, dear reader, are you in the mood for a tale of absolute terror? Rated for minor cussing.


**A/N: This is more humor then scary so.... yeah. Also this will not make any sense unless you've watched a certain series of videos on YouTube. I'll explain it all at the end. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mario series or its characters or games. All things mentioned belong to their retrospective owners.**

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You open your eyes to see an empty, inky darkness all around you. It is as if someone has plunged your eyeballs into a vat of molasses as you slept. As a gust of cold wind blows past, you note that you haven't heard a single noise since you've arrived. A shiver courses through your body as you realize that you are completely alone....

But wait!

You see a glimmering light up ahead!

You dash towards the light and are immediately surrounded by a broad landscape. Everything is colored in pastels and has an almost blurry look to it. It's almost as if a seven-year old child painted a picture in watercolors and then added drain cleaner and vodka to the mix.

You look to your left, and your eyes are met with a bizarre sight. Two misshapen creatures are drunkenly stumbling down a dirt path that runs under a large, wooden archway with a wall on either side. A closer look reveals that they are both mustachioed gentlemen wearing blue overalls along with shirts and caps. However, the taller of the two of them is wearing a green shirt and cap, while the shorter one is clad in matching red ones.

As they pass under the archway, an unseen monstrosity reveals itself. It is reptilian in appearance and clutching the top of the left wall in its claws. The beast possesses an orange mohawk, razor-sharp teeth, green scales, and beady, red eyes that are glittering with insanity. It belts out a blood-curdling laugh that would put any child-molester to shame.

Turning your attention back to the two men from before, you watch them continue down the road. Suddenly, the shorter of the two begins to speak.

"Nice of the Princess to invite us over to a picnic, eh Luigi?" he slurs.

You blink a few times, not believing your ears. Did he just call that Luigi guy ga-

"I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!" Luigi mindlessly chirps.

"Luigi look!" says the crimson-clothed one, pointing at something in the distance.

That something is a wooden door standing out in the middle of the road like a sore thumb. Why it's there without a building behind it is anyone's guess. Tacked onto the door is a piece of paper with nearly illegible hand-writing on it. The man waddles up to the door and plucks the letter from its spot and looks it over.

"It's from BOWser!" he exclaims, needlessly enunciating the 'Bow' part in the name. A second after that, the man begins to read the letter out loud.

"Dear Pesky Plumbers," he reads in a voice that sounds like a cross between a kindly kindergarten teacher and a doped-out surfer. "The Koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom. The Princess is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Koopa Hotels. I dare ya to find her if ya can!"

The man quickly turns his head to look at his stunned companion and proclaims, "We gotta find the Princess!"

"And YOU gotta help us!" replies Luigi, who is now creepily pointing his right, index finger directly at you. The hell?

"If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book!" says the obese man to one in particular; left, index finger raised in the air. Suddenly, his soul-piercing gaze falls upon you. Eerie music you didn't notice before is now playing in the background. Your entire body is held rigid with fear.

The Princess?

Spaghetti?

Bowser?

Mushroom Kingdom?

Koopa Hotels?

THE ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK!?!

Just what the hell is this place!?

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screamed a very distressed Mario. He sat upright in his red bed, eyes darting every which way in the darkness. He saw his brother nearby, sleeping soundly in his own green bed. The plumber wrapped his blanket around his own shoulders before shivering inwardly.

"What kind of a dream was that?" he asked himself.

The following week, Luigi noticed Mario flinched whenever he said the word 'spaghetti'. He couldn't imagine why.

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**A/N: Ahhhhh, Hotel Mario where would we be without you in our YouTube Poops? **

**Read & Review!**


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